Unbounded

On the 13

I woke up at around two in the morning yesterday (March 29), getting only two hours of sleep, so I was naturally pissed. I then decided to do some photoshopping (I consider graphic designing as therapeutic. Very much like Christopher doing math problems. lol).

Noticing that our group blog, ([link]) needed a more personal layout (as it now dons a generic green layout), I took on the challenge (or the leisure if you will) of making one. Here's what I came up with ([link]). It's supposed to be a header banner of us, the 13 - the thirteen most frequent guys that hang around in our friend Jim's place (Yes, it's a little rushed, but I wanted it to be done by noon so that I could get some more sleep and to prepare myself for other things later in the day).

From left to right: P3, Wil, me, Stip, Jim, Eug and Dodong; Pe (with Pia), Les, Jeco, Odell, Jed and Janny.

If you've seen those i-pod commericials (well to my knowledge, it isn't being shown here in the Philippines), it's partly 'inspired' by those.

We're thinking of removing Janny from the core but we can't think of a replacement yet.

He's our token black guy. heheh.

..Now if only I could figure out the blogger code tags. I'm basically an ignorant when it comes to scripting (that's why I couldn't help piere out on his flash presentation about plastics).

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On Photoshopping

I never really intended to be hooked with graphic design. I was actually unaware before of those kinds of things existed. Well, actually, I was unaware of a lot of tech things before. I didn't own a computer then.

When I finally bought one in sophomore high, Wil showed to me ps 5.5, and bragged that his brother was really good at it and stuff (well he's really good). Anyway, he told me that I should try it out , so I then tried tinkering with it, and the rest was history.

For me, it's an outlet for expression (upon the realization that I needed formal drawing skills), and oddly enough, it's also my way of reducing stress.

There's something about creating something that I find 'serene'. Like writing.

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On Plans

Since I've been talking about stress, I would like to say that I've been finding myself to be more and more stressed out lately.

Lots of thoughts about my plans in life (well now that college is over) are bugging me. Sleepless nights, irritability, mood swings, incoherent thoughts (hmm. nothing much has really changed actually. lol.) , are a staple.

But I really couldn't figure out why I'm this stressed out (it's either I couldn't identify my stressors, or I'm just denying its existence).

Career? Education? Relationships? Ack. It dreads me just to think about it.

I have to face them eventually. So hey, it's just a matter of one's frame of reference.

*I plan to get a master's degree, most likely on Clinical Psychology. Just out of curiousity, and for the sake of pursuing a higher body of knowledge. It's not happening anytime soon as I have to be self-sufficient first.

*I plan to be in a line of work where I'm enjoying it, despite its nature or job pay (bookstore manager, graphic designer, HR, HR training, counselling, writing. HAH! MANAGINIP KA!).

*I plan to try it out in the field of education. Hey, why not? It looks like fun. (teaching General Psychology as an elective subject or Statistics, or to be the school counsellor. Not bad.)

*I plan to go to the US in the near future, along with my friends, to seek greener pasture.

And lastly, on relationships.

eeek.

I would like to point out that I never had any relationships. I'm single since birth and single by choice.

Many ask why. Some look up on it. Most look down. 'why the hell are you still single? What ever happend to flirting around?'

I choose to be single and I'm proud of it (to the guy who said that comment on flirting, I'm going to punch you straight in the jaw the next time you bring it up with that arrogant tone of yours. And because you still haven't returned my book Sybil. My flirty days are over).

I do not choose to fit in with all the rest of the people whose brains are in their crotches.

I do not flirt with shallow skanks just so that I could reinforce my machismo (well I'm guilty for a number of times. But that time is now long gone).

If you've ever heard of Harris' 'I kissed dating goodbye', 'boy meets girl', and this third one about purity; if you've ever heard of Warren's 'purpose driven life', and I'm sure that you guys have, I am convinced that all of them are just pieces of trash.

Don't get me wrong, their intentions are good, and at times noble, but some of its ideas are inhumanly possible.

People are just not made like that.

I sometimes would like to think that they just cash in on people's faith and insecurities.

Might as well use the books as coasters or as my dogs' chewtoys.

To the people who treat these kinds of books as their bibles, use your old noodles. Realize what's humanly and inhumanly possible. Don't be mindless robots.

*..Returning to my previous line of thought: yes I'm single, but when the proper opportunity comes, that I would be able to meet that woman, who's a great conversationalist, who's got similar tastes (and distastes. lol), and who's got an equally evil personality as mine, yes. I wouldn't let that opportunity slip way.

The hell with looks, I'm going to be too swept off my feet to mind about that. Lol.

The pressure from my friends (that we should be scoring around with 'chicks'. It was a nice idea, stroking your machismo. But senseless) and family (I'm male, and I'm an only child) are great, but hey, It's my life that I'm living here.

I'm just traditional. Bug off.

It's nice to be in a relationship but for now, we should be enjoying our single lives.

Ugh. Enough mushiness.

(why the hell did I write this in the first place??)

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On Jobs

I'm very picky when it comes to the career line to work on (that's why I'm still bumming around).

No, I'm not lazy. Some companies have actually called me, I've also tried to apply on some, and (reluctantly) attended job fairs.

It's not that I look down on telemarketing (actually my thesis was about call center work), but I find it offending when companies call you if I would be interested in considering a career in that line of work. Lots of companies called (including big companies offering achievement-based pay for employees, who are also willing to be assigned in various locations. In other words AHENTE [a sales agent]).

A number of companies called, and upon knowledge of its nature, let's just say that 'Xiao Huang', my pet Miniature Pinscher enjoyed conversing with them. Let's leave it at that.

When it comes to applying, I've also tried my hand at those. I actually sent my resume to Fully Booked (it's a distinguished high-end bookstore here in the Philippines, and my second home) just to see if I'm competitive enough in the market. But the real reason was that I found out that Cai, one of my friends in college found work in National Bookstore, and I became envious. heheh.

Being the smart-ass that I am, I now seriously think that they would consider hiring me if I didn't put in the phrase '...fresh meat, err, fresh college graduate...'

Dope.

Here's to my dream of working in the bookstore and owning one. Well I hope not.

As if my ego was not insulted enough, my friend Wil insisted that we visit the recent job fair exposition in SM Megamall (a huge middle-class mall in the Phils.), just to try out how competitive we are in the market.

It didn't sucked. It TERRIBLY sucked.

Half of the companies were telemarketing outsourcing firms, while half were rank-and-file job openings for unheard companies.

When you see liquor companies having job openings for highschool female graduates to be promotional models, when you see internet shops (internet cafe stores) having their own booths, it's an obvious signal to turn to the other way and not look back.

After going around the fair once (Well twice actually. Wil pretended to be casually browsing because someone he liked was there also), we immediately left and went to Powerbooks (another distinguished high-end bookstore in the Phils.) and spent the rest of the afternoon reading (and indirectly insulting people who try to act knowledgeable).

Well let's give them their fair share of the argument. It's plausible and logical to reason that it's a job fair geared more towards the masses.

And people ask me why I still don't have a job.

Screw them. I'm not done enjoying my free life.

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Enough random thoughts.